


Nicotine

by majestic_emo



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Brendon needs a hug, Eventual Smut, F/F, Frerard, Kenny will show up later, M/M, Peterick, Trohley - Freeform, a little bit of Ryden, brallon, joshler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 09:03:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7261456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majestic_emo/pseuds/majestic_emo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He left him. Ryan left him. Left him broken, lost, confused, and helpless. He felt like an abandoned child for so many months. But then a tall guy came, and changed his world for the best. That guys name is Dallon Weekes. He healed his broken scars and made him happy. But what happens when old memories come and interfere with his happiness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> "No, Ryan, please." Ryan lets out a frustrated sigh, ignoring my pleas. "No, Brendon. You had so many chances to tell. To tell people about our relationship, and how much you love me." He yells angrily.

Two years earlier...

"No, Ryan, please." Ryan lets out a frustrated sigh, ignoring my pleas. "No, Brendon. You had so many chances to tell. To tell people about our relationship, and how much you love me." He yells in a hurt voice to me, I crumple to the floor on my knees. "I'm sorry. I love you, so much, please don't leave me." I sobbed into my hands, I don't hear him talking. I uncover my hands from my face, and look up at Ryan. I look in his honey colored eyes, they're filled with sadness. "why won't you tell?" I take a deep breath before answering. "Because, Ryan, I'm not ready. I'm scared of telling everyone, that we're dating. So much can happen if we tell."

Ryan sighed angrily running his hands through his hair and pulling on it, "I am tired of your fucking excuses, Brendon! We're in this relationship together, right?" I nodded clenching my jaw, I've never seen Ryan this mad and I'm really scared. "Well I feel like I'm all alone! I don't want to handle the weight of keeping this relationship a secret. So you have a decision. You tell everyone that we're together at our next concert, or I'll walk out this goddamn door right now." Ryan says with no emotion, we fall silent for a few minutes, which feels like years. 

"I'm sorry."

Ryan throws his hands up in the air. He turns away from me and go to our bedroom. I just stay sitting on the floor, hugging my knees. Wiping tears from my face, but they keep coming. I hear the zip of Ryan's suitcase. He's ready to go. Ready to leave me on this floor alone. I hear his footsteps along with the rolling wheels of his suitcase. He stops in front of the door, and looks back at me. "Ryan, I still love you. Please." I try convince him again, but he opens the door and walks out. Then I hear the door closing. That's it. Ryan is gone. My once homey apartment feels empty without him. I feel empty without him, why do I fuck everything up? If I could I would leave myself alone too.


	2. Part One: Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually kinda excited for today. I don't know why, I just have this feeling in my gut. I'm ready for a new start.

Two years after the spilt...

(Brendon's POV)

It's been two years since Ryan left and disappeared from my life. I've been a wreck. My friends have been coming over trying to cheer me up. But as always I stay unresponsive, just staring into space. They're supposed to be coming over today, actually. Why are they coming over today? I just want to be alone I just want to Netflix and cry today.

I trace the patterns on Ryan's guitar strap, he left it here along with one of his shirts. Tracing the patterns reminds me of every memory we had on stage. It makes me want to cry all over again. I put his guitar strap next to his abandoned shirt, and bury my face in my pillow. I hear footsteps and voices in my apartment, it's probably Pete, Patrick, and Spencer. Suddenly I hear a light knock on my bedroom door, I close my eyes quickly pretending I'm asleep. I hear the door open, and my whole body freezes. "Is he asleep?" I hear Patrick question, "obviously not. He just doesn't want to be bothered today, probably." I hear Pete state, and he's right. 

"Brendon, get up." I hear Pete say while he's shaking me. I open my eyes to be faced by Pete and Patrick. "Where's Spence?" I ask before going back to dying in my pillow. "He's running a shower for you." I whine loudly in my pillow waving my arms and legs around. "I don't want to fucking get in the shower. I just want to stay in bed and watch Netflix." I can't believe they're making me face society again. "Well I want to take you out shopping and get you a haircut, and maybe watch a movie or something." I uncover my face from my pillow and look up at Pete, "can we watch The Little Mermaid?" Pete chuckled and nodded. I pull myself up from bed, and walk to the bathroom. 

I'm actually kinda excited for today. I don't know why, I just have this feeling in my gut. I'm ready for a new start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is really short and really bad. I will try to make the next one longer and better. But I hoped you enjoyed it.


	3. Chapter Two

(Brendon's POV)

I walk with a ton of bags in my hands. Pete, Patrick, and Spence following behind. We went to the mall and I got a new haircut. It's styled up like a quiff. I also got a ton of clothes and shoes, Pete paid for everything. He didn't really have to, but he did anyway. That's why I love the little guy, he's always there for me and our other friends. "Bren, do you want to stop at Starbucks?" Pete asked me, "yeah. But don't we have to take the bags home?" I reminded him, if he makes me carry these in Starbucks. I will kill him. He made me face other people today, which I did not feel like doing at all. There was this lady in line and she decided to talk to me. Of all people, I was like bitch do I look like I want to talk to you. "Yeah, but I'm gonna drive you to Starbucks. And me and the boys will take the bags home. Once we're done with your bags, we'll meet you there." Pete tells me, taking one of the bags from my hands. "Okay." We walk in comfortable to the car, before I decided to break it. 

"Thanks Pete. For everything." I say quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. 

Pete smiles at me, "no problem. You would do the same thing for me in a snap." I smile and nodded, yeah I would do anything for Petey. I didn't realize we were in front of the car, until I accidentally bumped into it. Pete laughs at me and unlocks the car. I roll my eyes at Pete and open the trunk, throwing four bags in there. I jumped in the passenger seat after I put away all the bags.  
Pete got in after me starting up the car, and Patrick and Spence got in last. "Let's go, bitches."

Pete attempts to park in front of Starbucks, "Pete, what kind of parallel parking is that?!" Pete flipped me off, "it's my parallel parking, which is the best kind." Okay Pete, I guess everything you do is "great". "Brendon, we're gonna go handle all your bags. We'll come back here later." I nod agreeing with his idea, "don't talk to strangers, sweetie." I say bye one last time before leaving. I'm not planning on talking to anyone, I just want to sit there and drink my coffee. 

I throw open the Starbucks door, enjoying the air conditioning. It's way more hotter out there than in here. The place is full with people talking or reading. I just saw two boys kiss before biting into their cake pop. The sight makes me smile but it makes my heart ache. Ryan would do that with me, and he always made sure I got the bigger piece. I feel like sobbing right here in this coffee shop. "Excuse me, sir? Are you going to order something?" I look away from the couple to see that the line is empty. Luckily there was no one behind me, I feel my face heating up in embarrassment. I walk up quickly to the counter. I look up at the man, because he is so goddamn tall.

But he is so attractive. 

Tall lanky figure, messy brown hair, and blue eyes that you can stare at forever. "Uh, sir, are you going to order something?" Oh I was staring at him for to long, I feel my face heating up once more. "S-sorry, can I have a French Vanilla frappe and a croissant." He smiled at me before grabbing a up and sharpie. "What's your name?" He asked looking straight at me with those fucking blue eyes. "Brendon."  
He wrote down my name quickly, before starting to make my coffee. I just stared at his every move, what am I doing?! I shouldn't be staring at this stranger he probably thinks I'm weird already. He finally comes back to the counter, "here you go." I thank him, but before he leaves. I tap his shoulder. He turns around and looks back at me. "Well, I, um... what's your name?" I ask him, don't ever do this. He probably thinks I'm crazy or something, "Dallon. You look familiar to me, though." I chuckle feeling the relief wash away my fears, "you are the lead singer in Panic! At the disco. That's it! My sister loves your music, she never stops talking about you." Dallon eyes light up with excitement, "what is her favorite song?" I bet it's I Write Sins Not Tragedies, or Nine in the Afternoon. 

"Northern Downpour." 

I feel tears welding up in my eyes, and my chest is starting to hurt. Just more fucking bad memories, I don't want to think of him. But he will always be my demon, something that is part of me, I can't get rid of him no matter how hard I try. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset or anything!" Dallon sounds genuinely worried. I grab my frappe and croissant and walk quickly to a booth, I just want to cry forever. I look around and see the couple from earlier smiling at each other and talking. Their complete focus is on one another. One boy has mousy brown hair, plump lips, and brown eyes and the other one has red and brown hair, a big smile, and brown eyes. I noticed an X tattoo behind his ear. Interesting.

"I love you, Tyler." The brown haired male smiled one of the most cutest smiles, and kissed his boyfriend "I love you too, Josh." That's cute. Tyler and Josh, they sound familiar actually. I think they're in the band Twenty One Pilots, well they are actually the band. I'm pretty sure Twenty One Pilots, only consist of those two. Now I feel like crying more, there's people who are happy. And then there's me who is dying on the inside. I'm not fucking happy! I don't feel happy, I feel empty, lonely, and broken. Broken into millions of pieces, because of Ryan Ross. I just need something to numb the pain, I just want to feel loved. That's all I fucking want. 

"Hey, Brendon." I look up to see Dallon, I smile and greet him back. "I'm sorry, about earlier." He says while taking a seat, "It's okay, it's not your fault. He smiled at me, "I'm on break for twenty minutes. Want to talk or something?" I laugh, "what else can we do in a coffee shop?" Dallon rolled his eyes and crossed his long arms, "Drink coffee." He has a good point, that's what it was made for. 

We start talking like we've known each other forever. I learned so much about him. He knows how to play bass, he was in a few bands, he has a little sister who is sixteen, he use to have a girlfriend, and... he's gay. He told me that he was dating a girl, to see if he felt something with a girl. But he didn't, and he said that he always felt something with boys. I told him about Panic!, my band members, my friends, and Ryan. He looked sympathetic when I talked about Ryan. But I assured him that I was okay and the breakup was fine too. Only it wasn't fine, because he left me on the fucking floor sobbing. "It was really nice talking to you, Brendon." I feel my face heating up again, but this time not in embarrassment. "You too, Dall."

"Bren, we didn't know you made a friend!" I look away from Dallon, to see Pete, Patrick, and Spence. "Oh, hey guys." I mutter quietly, this is so awkward.

"Well it's time for me to go." I hear Dallon say, as he's getting up. "No!" I exclaim, the others and Dallon look at me. "Um, it was nice talking to you," I am such a mess. Dallon smiled and pulled a sharpie out of his pocket, he grabbed the discarded napkin on my table and wrote something. He folded it and handed it to me, "here you go." I take it gingerly, and stuff it in my pocket. "Bye Brendon," I waved shyly and look down at my hands. I feel the shivering feeling of benign watched, I look up and see the boys smirking at me. "Okay, lover boy. Time to do some explaining."

Oh boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than any of my chapters. I'm sorry that they've all have been short. I will make them longer in the future. Also sorry if this chapter wasn't good.


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon remembers the napkin Dallon gives him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dallon = D  
> Brendon = B

(Brendon's POV)

I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I told Pete and the others about Dallon, and how nice and cool he is. They seemed really happy for me, and they wished me the best. It's been two hours since I got home, and I got a lingering feeling that I forgot something. Oh yeah! The napkin, Dallon gave me. I reach down for my pocket and pull out a crumpled napkin. I unfold it from my pocket. I let out a small gasp he gave me his phone number! I grab my phone of my nightstand, and type his number into my phone.

Hey it's Brendon from Starbucks

I place my phone next to me, what if he doesn't text me back? It's been thirty seconds since I texted him, I shouldn't be freaking out like this. Why am I so goddamn nervous.

My phone beeps. I pick up my phone. 

D: Hey Brendon! I'm happy that you texted me. I literally just got off my shift. how are you?

B: I'm good. Hbu?

D: Good, I really had a fun time today.

I feel my face heat up a bit. 

B: Me too.

D: I was wondering if you'd like to hang out tomorrow. If you're not busy. 

B: Yeah. That would be great. 

D: K

I hate when people respond with K, like what are you going to do with all that extra time? What does Dallon do with all that extra time.

B: So my place or yours?

D: Mine.

B: Okay, what time?

D: 2:00pm

B: That's a good time for me.

After we finished making plans, we continued to text each other. Talking about different things. We've texted until 9:00pm. He's such an easy person to talk to. I can't wait until tomorrow to see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kind of short. The next one will be longer, promise. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
> Bye!


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon goes over Dallon's, and he meets two people on the way. Get ready to learn a little more about Brendon's past.

(Brendon's POV)

I hear the loud blaring of my phone alarm. I pat around the bed blindly looking for my phone. I stop the alarm and check the time. It's 12:00pm. I slept the whole fucking morning away. I groan and run my hands in my hair. I stayed up late writing lyrics about my emotions.  
I just had mixed emotions last night, so I wrote until I couldn't write anymore. I find my abandoned lyric book on the floor next to my bed. I reach down and grab it. I grab my glasses from the nightstand and read what I wrote.

_Oh, memories where'd you go?_  
_You're all I've ever known_  
_How I miss yesterday_  
_And I let it fade away_

This is about fucking Ryan. How I wish I could turn back time and fix things. I wish that I could go back to all the yesterday's I had with Ryan. But I didn't have enough strength to deal with our relationship. It's my fault that Ryan left. I let everything we had together fade away, like the sun melting a snowman. Maybe our break up was good.  
In a sort of way. If Ryan didn't leave me, I wouldn't have met Dallon. But Dallon probably only sees me as a friend. Only a friend.

Around my bed, I notice crumpled pieces of paper. All my emotions, crumpled up into a ball. I stretch real quick, before getting up. I start picking up the balls of paper. I set them on my nightstand, afterwards. My phone starts to ring out of the blue. I grab it quickly and read the caller ID.

Dallon Weekes.

I answer the phone quickly and put it to my ear. "Hello~" I say into my phone, "hey Bren! You're still coming over to hang out? Right?" Oh shit, I forgot about my plans. "Yeah, obviously." I hear Dallon's laughter fill in my ears. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, "okay. See you soon. Bye." I quickly say bye before hanging up. I throw my phone on the bed and proceed to the bathroom to get ready.

~Time Skip~

I park my car in front of a nicely kept apartment building. The city like scenery mixes well with this building. I get out of my car and lock it. I throw open the buildings doors, this place is so freaking amazing. Even the lobby looks homey. I walk passed the desk and straight to the elevator. Looking around the beautiful place. I press the elevator button and wait for it to come. Two other men came next to me holding hands, one has long jet black hair and the other has slick black hair. I feel the guy with red hair step on my foot, I wince at the pain. "Sorry! I should've watched where I was stepping." I reassure him that it's okay, but he still looks pretty anxious. "Sorry, if I seem pretty anxious. I just got yelled at by my boss and multiple people, because I stepped on their foot." Aww he doesn't deserve to get yelled at, it wasn't his fault. It's your fault for having your foot right in front of his. "You look familiar, by the way." The guys adds, he also looks familiar.

"Aren't you Brendon Urie?" He looks unsure of himself, "yeah. I am." I study the guys face, to see if I can identify him as well.  
Hazel eyes, sweet smile, pale complexion, and jet black hair. Oh I got it! I clasp my hands together, which jolt the couple. "You're Gerard Way and that guy next to you, who is your boyfriend is Frank Iero. And you guys are in My Chemical Romance." Gerard giggles and squeezes Frank's hand. Frank smiles Gerard, before pressing a kiss to his cheek. They're really cute together! They look so happy, and they look like they really love each other. I wish I was still happy with Ryan.  
No one could ever replace Ryan.

"How long have you been dating for?" I ask, "we've been dating for eight months. We came out at one of our concerts, it was so nerve wracking. I honestly thought things were gonna go terribly. But our fans are like our family, and we care for them just as much as they care for us. So many people seemed really happy, and it felt like such a relief to finally tell. It's hard keeping a secret relationship." Frank tells me, and he's right. Keeping an secret relationship is really hard and pressuring.

The elevator ding interrupts our conversation. The steel doors open and all three of us get on. Frank presses floor eight and I press floor nine. We all stand there in comfortable silence. I twiddle my thumbs as I wait. Until Gerard taps my shoulder shyly. I look over at him, "so where are you heading?" I stop twiddling my thumbs and look up at him, "Dallon Weeke's apartment." Frank smiled before joining the conversation, "we know him. He can play bass like a motherfucker." I nodded, "yeah. He told me he could play bass." Gerard smirks at me, "is he your boyfriend?" I'm taken back by the question. I feel my face heating profusely, Gerard and Frank just smirks at me. "No he isn't. H-he is just a friend," I am so embarrassed and flustered.  
"Well do you like him?" I feel my face heat up a little more, and I can't stop the smile that spreads on my face. I avoid Frank and Gerard's gaze. Gerard lets out a unmanly squeal, "oh my god! You do! You guys should get together, you would make a perfect couple." The elevator dings to the ninth floor, "shit we missed our stop." Frank says under his breath, but loud enough so I can hear. "Well this is my stop." I walk out of the elevator, and wave back at Gerard and Frank. They wave back. I can hear still hear Gerard swooning over me and Dallon, as I turn down the hallway.

I stop in front of a door that has the numbers 916 on it. I knock on the door waiting for Dallon. He opens the door, and all he has on are jeans. He's fucking shirtless.

"Hey Brendon, come on in. Oh sorry by the way. I spilled orange juice on my shirt." I chuckle at how clumsy he is and walk into his apartment. This place is fucking amazing and it's so big. Dallon close the door and rushes somewhere else. I sit down on a white and comfy couch. He comes back wearing a black shirt. "How are you, Brendon?" He asks me sitting next to me. Really close. "I'm g-good. I met some of your friends. Gerard  and Frank." Dallon smiled at the mention of his friends, "oh you did! Cool, what did they say about me."

"Frank told me that you play bass like a motherfucker." Dallon laughs, he is so beautiful when he laughs. "Of course, Frank would say something like that." He catches his breath, before continuing. "What else did they say?" I feel my face starting to heat up again, "nothing else."  
We sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments, I enjoy Dallon's company. I don't think he enjoys mine. I haven't exactly been "myself" lately, before the break up. I was usually loud, happy, and cheerful. I know my friends don't mention it, but it's really obvious that I changed. Emotionally and little physically. My skin complexion is paler than it usually is, and I feel like I gained a little weight.

"Hey, wanna see my music room." Dallon asks me, "sure." I follow him down a hall that leads towards a white door. He opens the door and walks in. I follow looking around. He has a bass, guitar, and a piano.  
I love playing the guitar.  
"Want me to play for you?" Dallon asks me, getting a little close. I nodded shyly, he smiles at me before grabbing his bass.  
"Do you play anything?" He asks me before strumming on his instrument. "Yeah, I play a lot of things. Music is like an escape for me, you know. I was bullied a lot as a kid, and music always helped me in those dark times."  
Dallon looks at me with sympathy, "why were bullied? If you don't mind me asking." I shake my head, "no I don't mind. I have ADHD. Which means Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. So the kids made fun of me for it. I was usually very hyper in school, and because of that people thought I was weird." I didn't even notice Dallon in front of me, with a frown on his face. He wraps his arms around me, "I'm sorry." I stand in his arms for a few seconds, embracing him and his scent. He smells like lavender and lilies, it's not a manly scent.  
But it works on Dallon.

We stand in each other's arms for a few seconds. The butterflies in my stomach are fluttering like crazy. After that we continue to talk about our childhood and other things. I told him about Sarah, my  old girlfriend who accepted for who I am. We dated for a few weeks, I told her I was gay and she completely understood. And she's been my best friend ever since, I love her so much. She was the first person, I came out to. And she still treated me like the same person. My dad wouldn't do that. My mom has always been more supportive than my dad.

After we talked we played Mario Kart and watched Mean Girls. It was just a great day full of laughter and happiness. Something I really needed. It was around 10:00pm when I said needed to go. Dallon pouted at me, and begged me to stay. Even though he was doing the puppy eyes and pouting I had to go. He asked me if he could at least play me a song, on his bass before I left. I watched as he strum his instrument with great concentration. I hum to the rhythm, while he continues to play. Sadly the song came to a stop, "how did I do?" Dallon asked running his hand through his hair, "Frank is right! You do play bass like a motherfucker." Dallon cheeks tinted pink at the compliment. "Well it's time to go."  
I remind him, he nods and shows me out to the door. He opens it reluctantly and leans on it.

"I had a fun time today, Dall." I say to him before, walking out the door. I feel him tug on my arm, "wait, um, I had a great time today, and I kinda really like you. So would you like to go on, um, a date with me on Friday?" Dallon's face is completely flustered, and his bright blue eyes are filled with determination and hope. "I kinda really like you too. I would love to go on a date with you." He smiles and I watch as he relaxes his shoulders in relief, "I wanna go to this fancy place. So wear something fancy but also casual." He adds, "okay." I smile at him and press a kiss on his cheek.

"See you Friday." Is the last thing I say before walking out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god! Dallon asked Brendon out on a date. Hopefully it goes well. This chapter is 2000 words and I am so proud of myself. I worked really hard over the past few days writing it, facing some writers block. But I still managed to complete it. I hope this is long enough to keep you satisfied. I am sorry if you don't like the chapter, I tried my best. You should expect the next chapter in a couple of days by the way. Anyways I hoped that you enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
> Bye!


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon has emotions about Dallon.  
> Dallon has emotions about Brendon.

(Brendon's POV)

I walk into my apartment rubbing my hands together for friction. Tonight is an oddly cold night. I close my windows and put on the heating. I make myself some hot chocolate, and put in a jumbo marshmallow, Patrick recently got for me. The marshmallow covers up most of my hot chocolate, I should've thought this through. I hear knocking on my door, I set down my hot chocolate, and walk towards it.  
Who could it possibly be? It's like 10:00pm. I open the door to be faced by Pete and Patrick. Of course, Pete and his boyfriend would be at my door this late.  
"Hey Bren!" Pete pulls me in a tight hug, "hey." I say breathlessly, I can't fucking breathe. Patrick walks in dodging me and Pete. I look over to him, to see him looking at my untouched hot chocolate. "Can I have this?" He asks pointing down at the steaming liquid. "Sure." He smiles at me before grabbing the mug and sipping on his hot chocolate. Pete unwraps his arms from around me, and walks over to Patrick. Pressing a kiss to his temple, "so we came here to see if you're doing well." I close the door and lean against the wall, "I'm good." Pete and Patrick frowns at me, "I wish that you were more happy. You were always beaming before, you know, the split." Pete says, "I'm fine. Really. I went over Dallon's house, today." I mumble the last part quietly, "and we're going on a date on Friday." Pete jumps from his seat causing Patrick to spill all his hot chocolate. Patrick looks down at the hot chocolate and frowns at the puddle of it. Pete immediately turns his attention to his sad boyfriend. "I'm sorry, Pattycakes." Pete gives Patrick a hug and press a kiss against his lips. I walk over to my counter and grab multiple paper towels. After we finish cleaning up the mess, we sit on my couch, and get Patrick a new cup of hot chocolate. 

"So you're going on a date on Friday?" Pete asks me, I nod covering my flushed face. "Yay! I'm happy that you're getting out more. Personally I think, Dallon is a good guy for you. I know I don't know him really well, but he seems like a good guy for you." I smile, "yeah he does." I just hope that we work out. I can't deal with an another broken heart. I'm not gonna lie when I say, I'm developing feelings for Dallon. He listens on and on about my problems, and he never gets to talk about his. He cares about me more than he probably cares about himself. Now I can't really wait for this date on Friday.

(Dallon's POV)

I watch as Brendon leaves out my front door. I can't believe he said yes! I'm so happy! He is such a sweet and caring guy, but he has a broken heart. A broken heart, that I can hopefully heal. That Ryan guy must've been such an asshole, why would he leave Brendon. Brendon is a sweet guy, with a lot of insecurities. I walk back to my music room, strumming random strings on my bass. I look at the ground, where Brendon once was, listening to me play the bass. I get up and sit my bass back in my case. 

I need to get him off my mind.

I walk to my living room, and turn on the tv. I grab the remote and flicker through random channels. My apartment feels lonely, even though I'm in it. The only thing missing is... Brendon. God damn it! I'm completely head over heels for this guy. He only stayed at my house for a few hours, and now I can't get him out of my head. There's something about him. That's addicting. I just want more of him. He's like my addiction. I can't get enough of him and his warm chocolate brown eyes, quiffed brown hair, his milky complexion, his plump and full lips.  
He looks so kissable. His warm and soothing voice, his laugh and how it echoes through my head, his lean but muscular body, and the way he smells like vanilla. I can't stop thinking about how close we get sometimes. Or how I if I moved a little closer, I would've kissed him. He probably taste so sweet, and his lips are probably so soft and warm. I just want to kiss him. The sounds he sometimes make are irresistible. I wonder what his moans sound like? I need to stop thinking like this. I met him a few days ago, things might not even work out. A loud knock on my door interrupts my thoughts. I get up and open the door, it's Gerard and Frank. 

"You didn't tell me that Brendon was a special friend of yours!" Gerard exclaims, his voice fake hurt. "He's just a friend. We're nothing else." I wish we were more than friends, Gerard scoffs and rolls his eyes. He just barges in along with Frank. "Guys it's like 10:00pm right now, what are you doing?" Gerard smirks at me, "what did you and Brendon do today?" Oh my god, Gerard is always in my business about boys. He thinks it's been too long since, I dated someone. "We just hung out. But if it makes you get off my ass, I asked him out on a date." Gerard squealed and Frank just laughed at him, "I knew it! I asked him if he liked you on the elevator, and he blushed so hard and smiled. He probably really likes you. I'm sure of it!" Gerard continues to talk on and on, until Gerard asks me what he's like.

"Well he's a great guy for starters. But he's so broken hearted, over his ex. It must've been really serious. He says that the break up was mutual, but I could by the way he talks about the guy it probably wasn't mutual. He has so many insecurities, that it's really sad. I just want to hug the poor guy all day long. But he's really funny, and he's really genuine to music." I continue on and on about how great Brendon is, and he never deserved Ryan. "Oh wow, and he is a sweet guy. He didn't yell at me, when I stepped on his foot. He just shook it off." Gerard mentioned, "see what I mean! He's just an amazing guy in general!" I exclaim, "well we hope you have a wonderful date on Friday." Frank says to me, "thanks I hope I do too." I can't wait until Friday, I will do anything and everything I can to make it the best night for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo~ Brendon and Dallon's date is on Friday. I had fun writing this chapter. I can't wait to start working on the next chapter for you guys. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this part. 
> 
> Bye!


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon cheeks flushed at the compliment, "I enjoy yours too." We meet each other's gaze, I feel myself getting closer to him.

(Brendon's POV)

I look at my outfit in the mirror, I feel like this is too formal, and not enough casual. Today Dallon and I are going on a date. He told me to wear something formal, but not too formal. So, hopefully he'll like how look. Dallon asked me out Tuesday, and ever since then the week has been going incredibly slow. But now today is Friday and I'm really excited. I texted Dallon an hour ago, telling him my address so he could come pick me up. Dallon should be arriving soon. I comb through my hair a few more times, before spraying is with hair spray. My bathroom is a mess, there's ton of hair product everywhere and clothes in the doorway. I changed my outfit at least twenty times already, doubting every one. I grab my clothes from the doorway, and throw my clothes in the basket, I'll fold them back once I get home. Before, I leave the bathroom, I put away all my hair sprays and hair gels away. I unplug the hair dryer, and wrap the cord around it. I place it back on the sink and turn off the bathroom's lights. I walk through my bedroom, and grab my phone off the bed.

I sit neatly on the couch, so I won't ruin my clothes. I'm starting to feel nervous for some odd reason. He's just a friend, who asked you on a date. I take deep breathes, but I really like this friend. I'll ask my friends for advice, I go on kik and go into my chatroom.

Breadbin Urine: hey guys  
Fedoras _are cool: what's up???  
Peter Pan/Wentz: yo  
Spence Smith: what's wrong????  
Breadbin Urine: well I have a date with Dallon tonight  
Fedoras_are cool: yeah I know that already  
Peter Pan/Wentz: yeah? aaannnnndddddd  
Spence Smith: WAIT YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH THE GUY FROM STARBUCKS AND YOU DIDN'T TELL MEEEEeeEEeeEEEEeE  
Breadbin Urine: I'm sorry I forgot, I thought Pete told you since he's a talks about everything  
Peter Pan/Wentz: that's not true  
Fedoras_are cool: yes it is!!! I'm with you 24/7 and all you do is talk about is either Ryan and how much you want to feed his testicles to the sharks or how cool Dallon is compared to RYan. EVEn tHoUgH YoU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIm THaT WeLL  
Breadbin Urine: what?!?!?!?! don't feed his testicles to the sharks!!!  
Spence Smith: do it.  
Breadbin Urine: I'm not here to talk about testicles, I'm here to talk about my date with Dallon  
Spence Smith: the date you didn't tell me about  
Breadbin Urine: so I'm kinda nervous, because I really like Dallon. and I don't know if he likes me the same way. and what if he finds me boring and annoying, what am I suppose to do then???!?!?!??!  
Peter Pan/Wentz: he probably really likes u too so don't worry about it bren  
Fedoras_are cool: yeah!!! and you're a great guy in general  
Spence Smith: and you're not annoying you're amazing!! if he can't see that then we'll kill him together and hide his dead body  
Breadbin Urine: ...  
Fedoras_are cool: HAHAhAHHAHA... but seriously I'll help bury the body too  
Peter Pan/Wentz: 0 to 100 real quick BUT I'LL HELP TOOOO  
Breadbin Urine: thnks guys  
Fedoras_are cool: no prob  
Spence Smith: you are very welcome  
Peter Pan/Wentz: anytime  
Fedoras_are cool: can u send us a pic of you and him together pls  
Breadbin Urine: sure

I hear a loud knock coming from my door, I get up from the couch and look through the hole thing. It's Dallon and he's on his phone. I open the door, he looks up and smiles at me his eyes trailing all over my body. "Hey Bren, you look amazing tonight." I feel my face heating up, so I cover it quickly. "Thanks, Dallon, y-you look amazing too." I uncover my face, even though it's still flushed from Dallon's sweet compliment. "Can we take a selfie together?" I ask quietly, "sure." I get close to Dallon and wrap my arm around him, he does the same, and we smile as I take the picture. "Nice," Dallon says when I show him the picture, I nod in agreement. It is a nice picture, we actually look like a couple. I go back on kik and send the picture.

Fedoras_are cool: holy smokes! You both are so adorable  
Peter Pan/Wentz: my new ship  
Spence Smith: relationship goals!1!1!1!1!1  
Breadbin Urine: shut up. Bye, Im leaving.  
Fedoras_are cool: okay, but make sure to tell us every single detail once you get back  
Spence Smith: ^  
Peter Pan/Wentz: you're growing up sooooooo fast  
Breadbin Urine: also by the way, Pete.  
Peter Pan/Wentz: ?  
Breadbin Urine: I rather feed Ryan's testicles to the vultures.

I shut off kik and look back up at Dallon. "Ready to go?" He asks, "yeah. I am." I hear Dallon murmur good, before grabbing my hand and walking out the door.

~Time Skip to the restaurant~

Dallon and I talked to each other the whole time, I learned a lot more about him. Which makes me like him even more. "We're here!" I look outside the window as Dallon parks, there's a fancy building that says 'Empire'. Dallon stops the car and gets out, before I could open my door, Dallon gets it for me. I get out into the chilly weather, "thanks Dall." He grabs my hand and walks into the restaurant with him. He opens the door and wait for me to walk in, I thank him before walking in. There's a perky girl with black hair and brown eyes. Her name tag says Lindsey, "hello, welcome to Empire. How many?" She asks, "only two." She bends down to grab two menus and silverware. "Follow me." We follow her down the pathway, this place is busy with waiters walking around everywhere. The restaurants atmosphere is filled with the chatter and laughter of people. She brings us to a table with a small booth. "Your waiter will be with you in a few seconds." Lindsey says once we're seated, then she walked away. Leaving me and Dallon alone.

"This place is really nice." I comment, Dallon nods in agreement before looking at the menu. A girl with girl with blonde and black hair comes up to or table, "hello I'm Melanie, and I will be serving you tonight. What would you like to drink?" I look over the menu and skim over my choices. "I'll just have water with lemon," Dallon says, "I'll have the same." Melanie writes down our orders, "okay. Your drinks will be coming right up." She says before disappearing into the busy restaurant. "What are we doing after this?" I ask Dallon, "well I wanted to take you to the town carnival. It's supposed to close tomorrow, since its getting colder. I also heard that all games are free." I love our town carnival, it's so much fun. Ryan would take me there, after I had a bad day. He would stuff my face with funnel cake and cotton candy. A cup of water with a little lemon on the side was placed in from of me. "Here are your drinks, are you ready to order. Or do you need more time." Before I could say anything, Dallon interrupted "I will have The Great Steak and he will have The Seafood Special." Melanie writes that down, "okay. That will be ready for you shortly." She walks off in the other direction, "what if I don't like it?" I question, "then we'll switch."

Dallon and I make small talk about different things. He asked about Ryan a few times, I tried to ignore the questions. But I ended up answering them anyway. As I was talking, I saw two people being seated next to us. I made out the people's faces, it's Ryan and someone else. He smiles at the man and kisses his cheek before sitting. I gasp and cover my mouth, feeling a huge lump form in my throat. I won't fucking cry here, I tell myself. Ryan looks over to me and Dallon, a look of surprise crosses his features. "Hey, Brendon, are you okay?" Dallon asks rubbing my side, I didn't realize he changed booths. "What's wrong? Brendon, please, breathe. In and out." I breathe in and out, I suddenly feel claustrophobic. "I'm fine, Dallon." He still doesn't move from my side, I grab his face and look into his blue eyes. "I'm fine, I promise." I squeeze his hand to reassure him more.

But I'm not o fucking kay.

I'm freaking out. Ryan, my old ex is with someone else. It's been two years and he already has someone else, he got over it quickly. While I've been suffering he's been happy. With someone that is not me, once Dallon moves back to his booth. I look over I see Ryan still staring at me, and his date is talking to him. I meet his eyes and look away immediately, I start fiddling with my hands instead. I feel like I'm being watched, it's not Ryan this time, it's Dallon. His bright blue eyes are filled with worry and concern. I look up into his eyes, "I'm okay." I say again to reassure myself and him.

When we get our food, I suddenly don't feel hungry. I just want to go home and cry, but I don't want to cry. I'm done suffering. Dallon is here. He is all I need, he cares about me. I trust him enough to, "Brendon? Do you like it, if you don't, you can have my steak." I shake my head, "no it's fine. I'm just not hungry right now." I lie, I haven't eaten anything all day. "Brendon, eat something, please." I just grab my fork, and pick up a shrimp. "Thank you," Dallon says.

We stay silent as we're eating, I have nothing to say anyways. "Are you excited for the carnival?" Dallon asks looking at me, "yeah." Dallon nods before looking at his phone, I put my fork down. I'm so fucking full. Melanie comes with the bill, "here you go, fellas. Have a nice evening." She says placing the bill on the table, "you too." Dallon says back, "yeah have a nice evening." I add. She's so nice, "thank you. Bye." That is the final thing she says as she walks back to another table. I look at the bill and its eighty dollars, this place is expensive. Dallon places one hundred and twenty dollars on the table. "You didn't have to do that." I tell him as we get up, he smiles and shrugs it off. "It's nothing, Bren." He says before walking off, I look at Ryan once more before walking away.

~Time Skip (again)~

We pull up in front of a small fair. It's glowing with life and people. Dallon and I walk out the car together, we pay for tickets and walk in. It's very busy here, probably cause it's the last day. Dallon buys us tickets for the games, and we walk in. This place is huge and amazing, this brings back so many memories. I look over at the face painting booth, I always got the tiger and Ryan would get the bear. My eyes follow running kids to the carousel, that's where I fell in love with Ryan. While we were riding together, his laugh was filling my ears his smile brighter than the sun. I realized that I could have a future with him, guess I was wrong.

I feel a tug on my hand, I look at Dallon. He looks really excited, "come on! Let's go play that ballon game," Dallon points at the game booth with a giant stuffed panda bear. Dallon and I walk over to booth, an attractive guy with brown hair and blue eyes  looks up at us. He greets us, his eyes studying me the longest. So to get the giant stuffed panda, you will need to hit all eight balloons." Dallon nods and grab the arrows, I chuckle as he tries to hit the balloons. He's so cute. "Hey, what's your name?" The guy asks, "Brendon." The guy smiles at me, and reaches over the booth to grab my hand. "Well, Brendon, I'm Kyle. You are really cute, "Kyle compliments. "Uh, thanks," I say awkwardly looking down at our hands. All of a sudden a loud slam, breaks my gaze. I throw my hand up in the air in surprise, "hey buddy. Hands off. Also I would like my panda now." Dallon growls at Kyle a possessive glare in his eyes, his face pales in fear and he scrambles to get the panda. "Uh, here you go. Have a nice, uh, evening." Dallon takes the panda out of his hands, throwing one more glare at Kyle. He grabbed the hand that Kyle held, and clutched it tighter.

"So, what do you wanna do now?" I asked, looking at Dallon cautiously. "Let's go on that ride," I looked at the ride he was pointing at. In big flashy letters it said, The Zipper. "Okay, let's go." We walked up to a teenager with brown hair, "hello welcome to The Zipper." The teen said non-enthusiastic tone, "hey. Can you hold this?" Dallon asked him, "sure." He grabs the panda and looks at me, a sudden flash of excitement flashes in his eyes. "Wait! Aren't you Brendon Urie?!" I smiled and nodded at him, "oh my god. I'm so happy I toke this shift! Hi, I'm Dan, I'm a big fan. I'm sorry, that I'm asking you this, but can I have your autograph?" Dan's hazel eyes bursted with more excitement and hope, "sure." The biggest smile crossed his face, "thank you." I signed his shirt, phone case, a piece of paper, his water bottle, and a sweatshirt. "This time can you write Phil, he's my boyfriend." He asked me before, I wrote on the sweatshirt. Dan's face was fully flushed, I signed his boyfriend's sweatshirt and handed him back his sharpie. "Sorry, for keeping you waiting." I wave my hand at him, "it was no trouble. Anything for a fan," I stated.

He unlocked a seat for me and Dallon, and made sure we were tightly in place. "Okay, enjoy the ride." He says, before closing the door. "You were really nice to him," I shrug my shoulders at Dallon. "Well he and a bunch of other people got me towards my fame. So it's at least what I can do. They actually make me feel like I mean something for this world. Like I have a purpose. If you know what I mean." I trail off and look up at Dallon, hoping that he understands.

He looks back down at me, his eyes flickering towards my lips a few times. I feel the space between us getting closer, our eyes closing as we get closer. I can feel his breath on my lips at this point, oh my god! He's about to kiss me. I'm about to kiss Dallon. I scream internally, all of a sudden the ride jerks us forward. Instead of our lips connecting our noses bumped into each other's. We open our eyes quickly, I rub the base of my nose. Soothing the pain that was there, Dallon and I stare at each other for a second. We both just burst out laughing, I cover my mouth laughing harder. Even though I really wanted to kiss him.

(Dallon's POV)

Stupid ride. I was so close. Just a few more centimeters, millimeters. And his lips would've been on mine. But no, our fucking noses bumped into each other instead. I bursted out laughing along with Brendon, even though I wanted to fucking kiss him. What a missed opportunity. It's not even my fault, it was the fucking ride's fault.

(Dan's POV)

Oh my god, I'm such a mess. I can't believe I ruined their kiss. It was obviously their first fucking kiss, I am such a fuck up. What if they don't get married and adopt twenty kids, because of me. What if they're going to be stuck in the friend zone, because of me. Or what if I caused them to have UST, because I decided to start the fucking ride at that exact moment. I'm panicking. I made Brendon Urie sign all my shit, and then I ruined his first kiss with his date. I need to breathe and calm the fuck down.

(Brendon's POV)

I feel adrenaline pumping through my veins after this ride. I am so excited now, once the ride stops I want to scramble out and go on all the rides. "Dallon, Dall, Dally," I repeat Dallon's name over and over again, shaking him violently in the process. He laughs as I skate him, "yes. Yes, Bren." His blue eyes lit up with joy, "well I want to go on more rides and then I want to play more games." Dallon smiles at me, "okay. We'll do whatever you want. Okay?" I nod in agreement, attempting to wrap my arms around Dallon's torso. It's a pretty tight space. "Thanks, Dall. You're the best." I can feel Dallon snuggling his face into my neck, and wrapping his arms around my body too. I hear the sound of metal clinging against metal, I look up and identify the noise. It's Dan, unlatching our door. He unlatches it, he steps back as we step out. "Sorry, if I interrupted any moments with you guys." Dan apologizes fiddling with his hands, "it's okay." Dan lets out a small breath of relief, and let's go of his hands. Dallon walks over to the booth and grabs his giant panda, before I could catch up with him. Dan called out my name, "thanks... again for signing my stuff by the way." I yelled back, "it was no trouble." Dan smiled gratefully before turning his attention back on the people in line.

~(another) Time Skip~

(Dallon's POV)

I'm having a great time with Brendon tonight. He's too adorable, he's always pointing at rides or giant stuffed animals. I'm still really upset about the kiss, I wonder if he's thinking about it. There's always next time, I tell myself mentally. "Dall, can we go play that game over there?" Brendon asks pointing at a ring toss game, "Bren, those ring toss games are rigged." Brendon whines, "but I want the ram over there." He points at a small fluffy white ram, I shake my head. Brendon looks into my eyes and begins to pout. His puppy dog eyes staring deep into my soul, "fine. Fine let's go," I mumble grabbing Brendon's hand. We walk to the ring toss stand, there stands a muscular guy about Brendon's height. "Hello, young men. Are both of you guys playing?" I shake my head, and point the overly hyper Brendon. "Okay, to get this ram. You will have to toss all four rings onto bottles." He explains, briefly. Brendon takes the rings, concentrating on the bottles in front of him. He throws one and makes it, throws another one and makes it, and another and make it once more. He just need to get one more, Brendon throws it on a bottle it spins on then off onto the ground. "Sorry, you don't get the ram. But here's your prize for getting three." The guy hands him a small plushie cow, Brendon frowns and takes it reluctantly. He starts to trudge away, looking at the ground. I frown at the disappointed Brendon, I place my panda on the ground next to me. "Can I try?" I ask the guy, he nods and hands me the rings. I make the first three easily, I just need one more. I think about the sad and defeated look on Bren's face when he didn't make the last one. I toss the last one perfectly on the bottle, I let out a breath of relief. The hand me the ram, "good job! I would probably get that to your boyfriend as quick as you can." I feel my face heat up at the mention of boyfriend, I take the ram out of the guys hand. I thank him, and pick up my panda off the ground. I run in the direction, Brendon went. I find him sitting on a bench frowning at the ground. I sit next to him and place the panda between us, "hey Brendon." He looks up at me, still frowning. "Close your eyes and hold your hands out," Brendon sighs and closes his eyes and holding out his hands. I place the ram gently in his hands, he opens his eyes and let out a small squeal. "Oh my god! Dallon, thank you so much, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me." I feel a warm sensation on left my cheek, Brendon kissed my cheek. I place my hand gently on my left cheek, feeling my face heat up profusely.

Brendon and I and walk hand and hand to my car, laughing and telling funny stories. I unlock my car and open the door for Bren, "thanks." I walk over to my door and get in too, I insert the keys into the ignition. Making sure to put on the warm air, it's freezing outside.

Brendon and I continue to talk about different things on the way back. We fall into a comfortable silence for a while. I glance over at Brendon a few times, he's looking outside the window and tracing smiley faces and hearts on the glass. I focus back on the road, I sigh as I stop at another red light. "Hey Dall?" I hum in response paying attention to the road. "I had a great time, tonight." I hear Brendon say, I look over and smile at him. "Me too, Bren." We fall back into silence, but this time I put on the radio. I sing along to the song quietly, tapping my fingers along the rim of the wheel. "All teenagers scare the living shit out of me." I sing a little louder this time, "you're a really good singer." I shake my head and chuckle, "I can't sing." I stop singing because I can't sing. I've been told multiple times that I can't sing, so I started playing bass. The one and only thing I'm good at. We fall into a another silence, but this time it was more uncomfortable.

Brendon stops at his front door, and turn around leaning against it. "I had a great time. This was probably the most fun I've had ever since the break up. I really appreciate you doing this for me." I shove my hands in my pockets, "anything for you. But, I had a great time too. I really enjoy your company." Brendon cheeks flushed at the compliment, "I enjoy yours too." We meet each other's gaze, I feel myself getting closer to him.

I'm done with the tension.

I grab Brendon gently by the hips, tip his head up, and kiss him. Oh my god, his lips are warm and soft, and he taste sweeter than cotton candy. He doesn't kiss back, so I pull away. But before I could go any further, Brendon wrapped his arms around my neck kissing me again. I wrap my arms around his waist and bring him closer to my body. I wipe my tongue on the bottom of his lip, asking for entrance. He opened his mouth, and I shoved my tongue in his mouth. I move tilt my head slightly to the right and kiss him deeper. I hear Brendon let out a small and faint moan, that sends vibrations through my mouth. I'm starting to feel breathless, I pull away from Brendon. I take in deep breaths, smiling down at Brendon. His face is completely flushed, and he has a small shy smile on his face.

"This totally made the date," Brendon giggles. "Yeah it did," I lean down and place my forehead, against Brendon's. I peck Brendon's lips, "I really have to go." Brendon whined and clutched on to me tighter, "no. Don't leave." I press a kiss to his forehead, "I'll come over Wednesday. How does that sound?"

"Perfect." Brendon mumbles into my shirt, I nudge him to get his attention. He looks up at me through his thick and long lashes, I grab his face and kiss him gently. Brendon kisses back, his hands trailing up to my hands. I pull away reluctantly, "I have to go now." I fake frown, "but I'll see you Wednesday? Okay?" Brendon nods, pulling away. I watch as Brendon unlocks his door and walk in. I sigh and run my hand through my hair, these feelings for Brendon just got a whole lot stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! It's been a while hasn't it?! I'm so sorry for the long wait. I've been busy with life and I had a bad case of writers block. I will try to update more often, I promise. I made sure this chapter was extra long, since I was gone for a long time. Please comment if you enjoyed this chapter, or if you have any suggestions. I once again hoped you enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
> Bye!


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the big date! Also some angsty past Ryden, and some Brallon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys it's me. There's some problems going on, so if there's any thing that seems wrong. I will try to fix it ASAP.

(Brendon's POV)

I open my eyes and adjust to the light. Instead of being faced by my phone, my ram is in front of me. The ram that Dallon won for me, I smile at the thought of Dallon. Our first kiss wasn't anything else but magical. This sounds cliched as fuck, but I heard fireworks around us as we kissed. He kiss made me lightheaded, and his lips were so soft and glossy. I hug my ram and giggle still thinking about Dallon. I wonder what in store for our relationship now? I want nothing more than to be his boyfriend, he's such a sweet and great guy. I look for my phone and find it located on my nightstand. I check the time, it's nine in the morning. I check my notifications to find one hundred messages, eighty kiks, and thirty missed calls.  
What the fuck?  
I open kik checking my chatroom.

Peter Pan/Wentz: How was the date?  
Peter Pan/Wentz: you guys have to be done it's 1:00am  
Peter Pan/Wentz: I need the details NOW!  
Peter Pan/Wentz: the curiosity and suspense is killing me.  
Peter Pan/Wentz: fine I'll wait until you answer.

I continue to scroll and scroll through the endless kiks from Pete.

Peter Pan/Wentz: you guys better have used protection if you fucked  
Peter Pan/Wentz: Dallon seems like a great guy but is he a clean guy?  
Peter Pan/Wentz: you kids were probably hornier than teenagers at prom.  
Peter Pan/Wentz: did you guys fuck or are you just ignoring me?  
Peter Pan/Wentz: probably both

I chuckle at Pete's kiks from 3:00am.

Peter Pan/Wentz: guys help. I can't sleep and I'm horny.  
Peter Pan/Wentz: I watched like two hours of porn  
Peter Pan/Wentz: I want to fuck Patrick so bad, but he's fucking sleeping.  
Peter Pan/Wentz: shhh don't tell Patrick.  
Peter Pan/Wentz: I'm so fucking tired. God I hate insomnia.  
Peter Pan/Wentz: did you know that dinosaurs raped caveman during Christmas!  
Peter Pan/Wentz: I found that out on Wikipedia.

I laugh and continue to scroll, until I'm down to the last kiks.

Peter Pan/Wentz: fine Bren don't kik me  
Peter Pan/Wentz: I'll call you instead.

I turn off my phone and lay down staring at my ceiling. I was up until 12:00am even though Dallon brought me home at like ten something. I was busy writing. About my emotions, Dallon, and Ryan. But mostly Dallon.

I just felt like an emotional roller coaster. I still can't believe I saw Ryan. With someone else. He got over us quickly, but I didn't get over him quick enough. God, why am I like this? I'm like a fucking lovesick puppy for Ryan, even though he broke my heart. Dallon is who I like now, I can't keep thinking about Ryan. Even though I spent every waking moment with him. Ryan was in my band and he lived in my apartment. I spent most of my time with my band members, or just relaxing at home. But I just can't get over him, I told him everything. I trusted him. I loved him, and I still do. God no, I have Dallon. He really likes me too, I can tell. Dallon is here for me now, but I always doubt our relationship. Well whatever our relationship is now. I'm afraid that Dallon won't be loved properly, I'll just be to busy thinking about Ryan. I hate my emotions sometimes, they're just so overwhelming. I hate being so fucking emotional, it's bad enough I have ADHD. But when I face emotions, I change completely. I use to be happy and bubbly when I was with Ryan, but I've been sad and just emotionally drained. I need to move on, but I'm not sure if I can.

My phone starts to make noises, it's kik. Pete, Patrick, and Spencer are spamming me like crazy. I join the chatroom, and start messaging them.

Beebo: hey guys  
Pete Wontz: omg finally!!!!  
Patrick is a tree stump: hey!  
Spenceing around in circles: hi  
Pete Wontz: how was the date!  
Patrick is a tree stump: ^  
Spenceing around in circles: ^  
Beebo: it was amazing.  
Patrick is a tree stump: I NEED DETAILS  
Beebo: so he took me to this place called Empire, and it was so nice!  
Beebo: and then we just started talking! But you wouldn't believe who I saw there!  
Spenceing around in circles: who?  
Beebo: Ryan Ross...  
Pete Wontz: omg nooooo  
Patrick is a stump: rip  
Beebo: and he was with someone else. He kissed his cheek and then he saw me with Dall. I was about to fucking hyperventilate, but Dallon helped me out a little. I was able to calm down.  
Pete Wontz: okay good :)  
Patrick is a stump: that's good  
Spenceing around in circles: aww how sweet.  
Beebo: and after that we ate food and he took me to the town carnival.  
Patrick is a stump: omg the LA town carnival is the best. It's so flashy.  
Beebo: we had such a good time, I've never felt any happier. I also met a fan, he was working The Zipper. I was thinking isn't he a kid too? But he looked about seventeen or eighteen. I also think his school was doing something for the carnival, because I saw so many teenagers working there. His name was Dan and he made me sign a load of stuff. Even his sweatshirt for his boyfriend, Phil.  
Pete Wontz: that must suck. Like working because your school forced you to. How rude.  
Patrick is a stump: awww  
Spenceing around in circles: aww that's really nice of you to do.  
Beebo: and in the beginning of the ride. I almost kissed Dallon! But the ride jolted us forward and I ran into his nose.  
Pete Wontz: that ride is a fucking cockblock  
Patrick is a stump: lmaoooo  
Spenceing around in circles: lol  
Beebo: I hate you guys  
Beebo: anyways, after the ride we played some games and went on more rides.  
Pete Wontz: noice  
Beebo: oh yeah, I forgot to tell you!  
Spenceing around in circles: wut  
Beebo: Dallon almost fucking killed a worker, because he was flirting with me! Like if looks could kill, that man would be dead. No joke.  
Pete Wontz: straight up savage  
Patrick is a stump: ooooo~ so possessive  
Spenceing around in circles: when did this happen?  
Beebo: when we first got to the carnival!  
Patrick is a stump: he sounds like a keeper.  
Pete Wontz: am I a keeper too?  
Patrick is a stump: shhh, let Brendon finish his story.  
Beebo: lmao. Anyways, I wanted to win this adorable ram at a ring toss game. And I won a fucking cow. I didn't want that shitty cow, I wanted the ram! But you wouldn't believe what happened next!  
Pete Wontz: you gave the guy a blowjob for the ram?  
Patrick is a stump: PETE!!!!  
Spenceing around in circles: what is this chatroom?  
Beebo: NOOO! Dallon won it for me.  
Pete Wontz: I was close!  
Spenceing around in circles: barely...  
Beebo: can you guys come over? I need to tell you the rest of the story in person!  
Pete Wontz: yeah sure  
Patrick is a stump: we'll be right over  
Spenceing around in circles: yep I'll be over  
Beebo: okay, see you guys later.  
Pete Wontz: bye  
Patrick is a stump: see ya  
Spenceing around in circles: buh bye

~Time Skip~

I hum the lyrics while tapping my pencil. The guys should be over soon, I glance at my clock.

It's 1:00pm

They should be over in a few minutes. I showered and spent the rest of time working on a few songs. I look over what I wrote do far.

 _I may never sleep tonight,_  
As long as you're still burning bright  
If I could trade mistakes for sheep,  
Count me away before you sleep.

Could be better. I don't know where I'm completely going with this song yet. A idea just popped into my head, I should've thought about it more. I close with my lyric book with a long sigh. My phone started vibrating in my pocket, someone is calling me. I pulled it out of my pocket and checked the Caller ID. It's Dallon.  
"Hey Dall, I'm good right now. How bout you? Okay that's good. I left my cow in your car, well that's not good. Yeah you can drop it off, I'm home alone. Okay, see you later. And thanks." The line goes dead before I can hit end call.

I left my stuffed cow in Dallon's car, so he said that he'll drop it off for me. I pat my lap for a little bit, before getting up. I'm so bored. I walk to my closet, something I haven't cleaned in a while. I pull open the closet doors and pull out some boxes. It's mostly Ryan's stuff. I look through his old notepads and notes. One titled Always caught my attention, it says for our sixth anniversary. We broke up before our sixth anniversary could happen. I feel tears trail down my face as I read it,

 _When the world gets too heavy_  
Put it on my back  
I'll be your levy  
You are taking me apart  
Like bad glue  
On a get well card

 _It was always you_  
Falling for me  
Now there's always time  
Calling for me  
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road  
Blink back to let me know.

This is about me neglecting him throughout our relationship. He felt neglected. The only thing he wanted, was for our relationship to go public. And then he would've been truly happy. He would do anything for me, and I would just ignore his wishes. The only wish he had was for our relationship to go public. The only thing he wanted that I couldn't give him was a public relationship. I only cared about myself and my feelings, when I didn't realize he was breaking himself. I'm such a heartless and self centered person. I should've cared more. My eyesight is blurred by my tears, I wipe away my tears and continue to read.

 _I'm a fly that's trapped_  
In a web  
But I'm thinking that  
My spider's dead  
Lonely, lonely little life  
I could kid myself  
In thinking that I'm fine.

Before I could continue, I hear some knocks on my door. I curse to myself and wipe my eyes quickly. I glance at my mirror, and wipe away the tears from my face. My eyes are bloodshot and puffy, hopefully whoever is at the door doesn't notice. I walk quickly to the door, wiping my face every second. I take a deep breath and open the door. It's Dallon holding my cow, "hey Bren." I greet him back, he leans down and pecks my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck, and pull him closer to me. He wraps his arms around my waist "I missed you," Dallon mumbles in my neck pink tinting his cheeks. "I missed you too," I can feel Dallon smile on my neck. He pulls away, the warmth of his body immediately leaving mine. He hands me my cow, "thanks." I say before taking the cow and giving a big hug. Even though I don't like him much, "no problem. I have to go. But I'll see you later?" I throw my cow on the couch, "yeah. I'll call you later." I wrap my arms around Dallon's waist, and snuggle into his chest, Dallon's hand grabs my chin and tilt it upward. He leans in presses his lips against mine, I kiss back a little harder. I hear Dallon moan into my mouth, it's music to my ears. Before we could do anything else, I hear a big gasp. Dallon and I break our kiss immediately, it's Pete and the others.

Well shit. God smite me down now.

I feel my face flush, when Pete winks at me. We all stand in an awkward silence, this is so embarrassing. Dallon clears his throat, "well I have to go. Bye Bren," Dallon quickly presses a kiss to my lips, before walking down the hall. Patrick looks like he's ready to explode with excitement, Spencer is cooing the word 'aww', and Pete is fucking smirking at me. Well shit. Now I have a lot of explaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry that I haven't updated in a while. Life has been extra busy lately, and I got the bad case of writers block again. But I'm okay now. It's 2:02am and I'm so tired. I'm also in Virginia for vacation, so I'll try to update as much as possible. I'm staying for four days, so over the four days I'll try to work on some chapters. Also sorry for the bad grammar, like I said before it's 2:02 am. And I'm delirious as fuck. So please comment or leave a kudos if you enjoyed this chapter or leave suggestions. Anyways, that's all for now. See you later!


	9. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry :(

I'm sorry guys, but I have bad news. I'm putting this story on hold, and I might not continue it. I'm so sorry, I will try to continue it. But I just don't have motivation anymore. I feel like I disappointed so many of you. Comment if you want me to continue, or let this story go. I'll do what the majority of the people want, and if you guys want me to continue it. I will probably rewrite this story, so the writing can be ten times better than before. Thank you, for the kudos and the support on this fic. I really appreciate it :) once again I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone.


	10. Announcement

I'm going to rewrite this story, leave a comment if you want me to change it up a little or keep it the same. Just a little bit better.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, so please go easy on me. I'm sorry if this was terribly written, by the way. I will try to update daily. I'm always writing fanfic, now that I'm out of school. So expect a lot more chapters to come.


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